Here are some resources that I have gathered to help process this difficult time in our lives.

Living in Uncertain Times

Shared Experience

In this pandemic and time of social distancing we are all facing challenges. As parents, we are all trying to juggle our children's educational needs with working from home. We are doing our best to manage our own feelings about the effects of the pandemic and those of our children's and family members. It can all feel so overwhelming as we navigate this difficult time in our global community.
It's okay to not feel okay right now, there is a lot to process.
In the following pages I am offering a few ways to manage these feelings of overwhelm and to learn to contain them.

Managing the Overwhelm

Stick to a routine

When the quarantine first began, my sleep schedule was completely off and eventually so were my kids. I woke them minutes before they had to get online for school and brought them breakfast, they stayed in their pajamas the entire day. This did not work out well for my family. Not only did this rob us of important time to check in with one another, it was interfering with their healthy sleeping and eating habits. So after two weeks of what started to feel like chaos, I implemented a schedule that worked to get us all back on track. I wake them at 8 am daily, they change and come down for breakfast and we sit at the table together. After we eat, they go to their rooms and start their day after we have made that vital connection. We also go outside together everyday, we bike ride, make up "survivior challenges" in the backyard, build teepees, go for walks, anything to get outside and have fun together.

A routine is important and will be unique to you and your family. If you haven't already, I encourage you to find a routine that feels good.

Go to bed and wake up in the morning the same time every night and day

(good sleep helps with emotion regulation and immune system functioning)

Make your bed
Get Dressed
Eat a healthy breakfast with your family(if you are alone in your home, schedule a breakfast time facetime or zoom with someone else who is also alone)

Set your work schedule for the day and include breaks

If you have children and a partner discuss your work schedule for the day and plan on how you can support one another so that you can get work done

(mostly) uninterrupted.

Take breaks away from your computer (and phone) regularly Plan to get outside everyday, even if the weather is not ideal

My Routine

What Can I Control?

Anxiety and overwhelming emotions often involve racing thoughts about things we cannot control. Make a list of things you can control such as, your routine, the amount of media you consume, whether or not you exercise and meditate. Can you add to this list?

The things that I can control:_____________________________________-

Skills to Manage Anxiety

Creating an Imaginal Container

When anxious or fearful thoughts become overwhelming it is helpful to create an imaginal container in which to place those thoughts.
Here is how to develop a container that will help you manage some of the troublesome feelings you may have. Think of a container that is strong enough to hold whatever you put into it. It should also have a two-way system that would allow you to put things into it and take things out without any of the other material that is already inside escaping. The two-way system should also allow you to take out only as much of any given problem as you want. Additionally, the inside of the container should be comfortable enough that the material you put into it will be willing to stay until you are ready to work with it.

Take a moment to think about what your container will look like. There is no right answer. What do you get? ___________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________

If you knew your container could hold some of your troublesome feelings and thoughts, how would you feel?_______________________________________________________________________

Focus on your container and those good feelings. What do you notice now? _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________

What word or words best describe your container? Think of that word and write it down _________________________________________________________________________________________

Now imagine some mildly disturbing thoughts and notice how your body feels. Imagine putting those thoughts into your container. Notice how differently it feels__________________________________________________________________________________________

Practice using your container whenever you feel stressed and are noticing that you are feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings

______________________________________________________________________________________

Grounding Techniques

Grounding is a useful tool to bring you back to the present moment. It's a way to tell the brain that you are okay, you are safe and you are here in the present. The following are different grounding techniques you can use when you are feeling overwhelmed:

Mental Distraction Techniques:

-Pick a category of objects and try to think of as many objects as possible that fit within that category (e.g., types of dogs, cities, types of trees, crayon colors, sports)
-Pick a letter and think of emotionally positive or neutral words that begin with that letter -Pick a color and look for things of that color. Notice differences in their exact shades

-Say or think the alphabet backwards or alternate letters and numbers (A1, B2, C3, D4, etc)

Sensory Based Grounding Techniques:
-Run cool or warm (but not too cold or hot) water over your hands or take a cool or warm

bath or shower
-Spritz your face (with eyes closed), neck, arms, and hands with a fine water mist
-Spray yourself with your favorite perfume and focus on the scent
-Feel the weight of your body in your chair or on the floor and the weight of your clothing on your skin
-Touch and hold objects around you. Compare the feel, weight, temperature, textures, colors, and materials

Reorientation Techniques:

-Describe your surroundings in detail, including sights (objects, textures, shapes, colors), sounds, smells, and temperature
-Name five things that you see, four that you feel, three that you hear, and two that you - smell or taste, and then name one good thing that you like about yourself

-Pick four or five brightly colored objects that are easily visible and move your focus between them. Be sure to vary the order of your gaze and concentrate briefly on each one before moving to the next

Accepting Your Feelings

“Don’t turn away.
Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”
~ Rumi

RAIN: A Practice of Radical Compassion (Tara Brach)

The acronym
RAIN is an easy-to-remember tool for bringing mindfulness and compassion to emotional difficulty.

Recognize what is going on;
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;
Investigate with interest and care;
Nurture with self-compassion.
You can take your time and explore RAIN as a stand-alone meditation or move through the steps whenever challenging feelings arise.

R—Recognize What’s Going OnRecognizing means consciously acknowledging, in any given moment, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are affecting you. This can be a done with a simple mental whisper, noting what you are most aware of.

A—Allow the Experience to be There, Just as It IsAllowing means letting the thoughts, emotions, feelings, or sensations you have recognized simply be there, without trying to fix or avoid anything. You might recognize fear, and allow by mentally whispering “it’s ok”
or “this belongs” or “yes.”Allowing creates a pause that makes it possible to deepen attention.

I—Investigate with Interest and CareTo investigate, call on your natural curiosity—the desire to know truth—and direct a more focused attention to your present experience. You might ask yourself: What most wants attention? How am I experiencing this in my body? What am I believing? What does this vulnerable place want from me? What does it most need? Whatever the inquiry, your investigation will be most transformational if you step away from conceptualizing and bring your primary attention to the felt-sense in the body.

N—Nurture with Self-CompassionSelf-compassion begins to naturally arise in the moments that you recognize you are suffering. It comes into fullness as you intentionally nurture your inner life with self-care. To do this, try to sense what the wounded, frightened or hurting place inside you most needs, and then offer some gesture of active care that might address this need. Does it need a message of reassurance? Of forgiveness? Of companionship? Of
love? Experiment and see which intentional gesture of kindness most helps to comfort, soften or open your heart. It might be the mental whisper, I’m here with you. I’m sorry, and I love you. I love you, and I’m listening. It’s not your fault. Trust in your goodness.In addition to a whispered message of care, many people find healing by gently placing a hand on the heart or cheek; or by envisioning being bathed in or embraced by warm, radiant light. If it feels difficult to offer yourself love, bring to mind a loving being—spiritual figure, family member, friend or pet—and imagine that being’s love and wisdom flowing into you.

Helpful Resources

Free Yoga/Meditation Classes

www.yogaglo.com

www.doyogawithme.com

www.tarabrach.com

Resources for Kids and Families

(email me for copies of the following)
The Story of the Oyster and the Butterfly: The Corona Virus and Me by Ana Gomez
My 2020 COVID-19 Time Capsule
www.gozen.com offers free resources to help your children deal with stress and worry

Finding a Therapist